


The Trouble with Snarry

by SweetSorcery



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Humor, Kid Fic, Kissing, M/M, Male Slash, Romance, Secret Snarry Swap 2018, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-06 06:37:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16827148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetSorcery/pseuds/SweetSorcery
Summary: Things are a little awkward between the new DADA teacher and the new headmaster, and an unwanted gift left on the doorstep of Hogwarts doesn't help matters. Or does it?





	The Trouble with Snarry

**Author's Note:**

> Seeing this prompt reminded me of a prompt I claimed for a Snarry fest several years ago, but which I was sadly unable to complete. It was a perfect match for this prompt, however.
> 
> Prompt 36 from torino10154: Headmaster Snape and Professor Potter are the only people in the castle for Christmas. Or are they?

Harry was running up and down a corridor, chasing a bunch of Cornish pixies he had intentionally conjured up to keep himself busy.

He was well aware it was a rather pathetic way to spend his time but, quite simply, he was bored to tears. A few weeks after vanquishing the Dark Lord, the Chosen One didn't have a thing to occupy him.

Being only weeks away from starting his career as Hogwarts' new DADA teacher - after McGonagall's sudden decision to step down as headmistress, in order to go back to teaching Transfiguration, and Snape taking over as headmaster - he could, and should, be preparing lessons. Never having done it before, he really needed some guidance. His chances of getting such a thing from the only colleague nearby, and the most suitable person to give it, were next to nil.

When he had been a student, staying in a largely empty Hogwarts over the Yule holidays would have been appealing, much like the idea of being locked in a sweet shop or a department store overnight.

Now, however, he found that the castle, for once practically empty, was not at all what he would have imagined. Furthermore, parts of it were still in ruins from the final battle, and it actually snowed in most days, so it was distinctly lacking in its usual cosy charm. The many missing sections of Hogwarts were the reason all students and staff had been sent away, with only core staff due to return at the very end of December to help with the remaining repairs before next term. Harry simply had nowhere to go, and he didn't want to intrude on any of his friends' holidays with what was left of their respective families.

He would be making a start of fixing up the castle interior where he could, but it seemed the former headmistress did not have much confidence in his flair for design.

McGonagall's last words before departing had been, "Don't you dare redecorate anything, except your own rooms, during my absence, Mr Potter."

Then there was his only fellow resident, not counting a core staff of busy house-elves, who was avoiding him whenever possible, which was practically continuously. Hogwarts was huge when there's only two of you - one residing in a large, lonely set of rooms in Gryffindor tower; and the other in a large, lonely set of rooms in the dungeons. Snape insisted on staying where he had always lived, headmaster or not.

It could be different, of course, if only Snape did not look mortified with embarrassment whenever he encountered Harry. Clearly, between having laid his memories bare to him in what he had thought to be his final moments, and then waking up to find he had been nursed back to health almost exclusively by Harry for nearly a month, his pride had been shaken to the core. And just when Harry finally felt that he had a handle on what made the man tick and actually _wanted_ to spend time with him. And not just because he was practically the only available company.

'Speak of the devil,' Harry thought, peering triumphantly down from the landing of the last staircase descending to the entrance hall, where he saw Snape entering through the front portal like a thief in the night. The way the man sneaked about these days was somewhere between irritating and amusing, but Harry was unprepared for the reaction when he tiptoed down the last few stairs and chirped, "Hello, Severus! What are you up to?"

Snape stood ramrod still, paling even beyond his usual colouring, and hid the jute sack and basket he'd been carrying behind his back. He looked as if he'd been caught with one hand in the biscuit tin and the other down his pants.

Harry laughed. He couldn't help it. "Merlin, all I said was 'hello'. You needn't look as if I walked in on you in the shower."

"Hello, Potter." Snape's pose and demeanour did not change, but a trace of a blush was trying to settle on his sallow cheeks.

Harry suppressed a grin. "Harry, I keep telling you. I haven't seen you in days, and you look as if you're going to run away screaming."

"I have never run away screaming from anything, Potter, and I'm not going to start with you." Snape sounded positively indignant.

Grinning broadly, Harry said, "Glad to hear it. So... where have you been? What have you got there?"

"Nothing. I was out, collecting potions ingredients," Snape said stiffly and made as if to turn away.

Harry wasn't having it. "In this weather? And why? You no longer teach Potions."

"The weather is entirely appropriate to the season, Potter, and a little snow has never hurt anyone. Besides, I do not need to be teaching Potions to retain my interest in the subject."

Harry gaped at him, unable to argue with any of that. However, he was also in no mood to spend the next couple of weeks with only himself for company and, having finally managed to corner Snape, even entirely by chance, he was not going to let him get away so easily. "Let me see. What did you--"

An odd blubbering sound came from behind Snape's back, and he began to shuffle backwards, away from Harry.

"Severus? What is that?" Harry approached him, taking advantage of the fact that Snape wasn't going anywhere speedily like that. "Show me!"

"Do mind your own business, Potter. And show a little respect. I am the new headmaster."

Another blubber, followed by a wailing cry, and Harry had reached him, pulling at his arm. The basket swung into sight, and with it a mop of dark hair, a pair of big blue eyes, and a little face contorted in a howl.

"Snape!" Harry exclaimed in horror, forgetting that he was determined to introduce first names into their discourse, and paying no mind to showing proper respect. "Merlin's ba... banana, I don't believe you! Potions ingredients!"

Snape snickered at the creatively avoided bad language in front of the screaming basket. "Oh, don't be dense, Potter." He set down the sack of plant cuttings and brought the basket forward to hold it with both hands. Inside sat an infant nearly obscured by pillows and blankets. "I'm sorry to say someone left this outside the front doors while I was out."

"A baby?" Harry blinked.

"It's not a mandrake, though I can see how you might make that mistake."

Harry moved even closer. "Can I touch it?"

"I would assure you that it doesn't bite, but I really couldn't say. I've known the creature for all of three minutes."

Harry looked at him sternly and then reached out to hesitantly touch the baby's chest. It wailed louder. "Bugger!"

Snape raised a mocking brow. "You appear to have found the Sonorus button."

"You do better then, if you think you can make it stop screaming." That caused the smugness to slip from Snape's face. Harry grinned. "Well?"

Snape glared at him, but he set down the basket and looked at the screaming baby. Something would have to be done, or he wouldn't be able to hear himself think about just what to do with this unwanted... gift. He leaned down and lifted the baby out of the basket, then held it in front of him to look at it sternly. "Do be quiet," he said, sounding very Snape-ish indeed.

It stopped screaming. Instead, it stared at him goggle-eyed, then started bubbling out a peal of laughter.

Harry joined in. "That's the proper way to teach the child respect."

Snape glared at him and, instantly, the baby started wailing again. "Oh, for pity's sake!"

Harry frowned. "Smile at me," he said.

"Pardon?"

"Smile at me. Go on, it won't hurt. Not overly much."

Snape sneered, but did his best to turn up the corners of his mouth while doing so.

The baby giggled.

"Interesting. So it likes your stern face, but it wants you to be nice to me." Harry smiled. "The baby and I are in agreement then."

Snape gave him a look. "Potter, you don't have anything to do with this by chance?"

Harry flushed. "Uh... let's just say that, fumbling experiments aside, I'm not likely to father a baby and leave it at that."

"I see." Snape's eyes fixed on Harry's for a long moment, during which Harry fidgeted, then he looked at the baby again. "I had meant that it might be part of some elaborate prank of yours, but thank you for that interesting tidbit."

Harry coughed. "So what do we do now?" he quickly asked, deciding not to point out that he was well past the age or levity for setting up pranks.

"Excuse me?" Snape raised his brow. The baby made long fingers to try and examine it.

"With the baby." Harry started rummaging around the basket. "There wasn't a note or anything, was there?"

"Alas, no. I suppose the infant will have to be fed and... changed."

"Changed?" Harry looked up from where he was crouching with a look of abject terror on his face.

"If necessary. And I suspect it will become necessary sooner rather than later. There's a distinct whiffiness coming off the creature."

"Bugg... um, okay, I've never changed a baby."

Snape sighed. "Perfect. That makes two of us."

* * *

Ten minutes later, they were standing in front of Snape's large sideboard. They had covered it with a blanket and bed sheet and were looking down at the infant pleadingly.

"Do you suppose if we stand here long enough, it'll come to us?" Harry tried.

Snape gave him a quelling sideways look. "You expect the infant to helpfully draw an instruction sheet from its pyjamas?"

Harry giggled. "Would be nice."

Snape nodded. "Well," he said, resolutely. "Logic would dictate the out-with-the-old, in-with-the-new approach."

"Might help to have a new first." Harry flourished his wand. "Accio nappies." 

Somewhat predictably, nothing happened.

Snape snorted. "Just where in this castle, let alone my rooms, do you expect nappies to materialise from?"

Harry cursed himself under his breath. That had been rather stupid of him. Not that he'd admit it to Snape. "Okay, we'll have to transfigure something. How about that ugly clock over there?"

Snape looked at him aghast when he pointed with his wand. "That is a 19th century carriage clock which has been in my family for generations. Don't you dare attach that to the infant's bottom!"

Harry bit his lip. Hard. "Okay, okay. You pick something then."

Snape narrowed his eyes, then flourished his wand in the direction of a closed door, presumably to his bedroom. "Accio Albus Dumbledore's last Yule gift!"

A cupboard door flew open, along with the door to the next room, and a luminous lime green cloak came flying out through the door and into Snape's outstretched hand.

Harry screwed his face up. "He expected you to wear that?"

"I had suspected for years that Albus was colour-blind. When he presented me with this, and insisted it was Slytherin green, all doubt was erased."

Harry nodded. He smiled when Snape transfigured the cloak into a stack of lime green nappies, then cursed. "I can see why you don't teach Transfiguration."

"Potter, since you've decided to hover, make yourself useful and get rid of the old diaper."

Harry took a rapid step back. "What? No. I'm not touching that."

Snape heaved a long-suffering sigh, pointed his wand at the baby's bottom, and vanished the full diaper, ignoring the baby's surprised squawk. "Marvellous. Minerva has hired us a DADA teacher prone to forgetting he's a wizard at all. I despair."

Harry flushed. He wanted to say something indignant, but he realised Snape had a point.

The baby was changed in short order - it turned out to be a boy - and they were once more at a loss as to what to do.

"He probably needs to eat, or have milk or something." Harry frowned, then his face lit up. "Would the house-elves know what he can consume?"

Snape raised a brow at him as if surprised he'd had a useful thought. "I suppose so."

"Okay, let's take him down to the kitchen and see if they can find us something." Harry hesitated for a moment, then picked the baby up. Tiny fingers immediately reached up towards his glasses, and the baby gurgled. He smiled.

"We could take him downstairs in the basket," Snape suggested, probably thinking Harry incapable of not dropping the child.

"He's done travelling." Harry frowned. "I'm not going to carry him around in that. Besides, everything in there is a bit damp from the snow outside."

"Very well." Snape preceded him to the door, opened it for Harry and the baby, and flushed a little when Harry smiled at him gratefully.

* * *

The kitchen was a hive of activity, with pots and pans clanking, elves running to and fro, and the gigantic stove sizzling away.

Harry couldn't imagine so much effort could possibly be involved in cooking for an upstairs population of two. Well, two and a half now, he supposed. Not that anyone knew about that yet.

However, there was an entire table set aside just for baking and biscuit making, which made sense this time of the year, he supposed, and the biscuits would last until well after everyone else had returned.

There were strong, soothing smells of cinnamon, allspice and ginger in the air, and the elves had decorated themselves a tree in the far corner. Harry smiled, wondering what it would take to get to spend the better part of the holidays down here, with a steady supply of tea, warmth and biccies.

The moment Harry and Snape were noticed, all kitchen activities stopped at once and, one by one, every house-elf in the room turned to stare at them.

"Hi," Harry said awkwardly.

Snape sniggered next to him. "We require assistance in locating nourishment for an infant," he said formally.

Immediately, half a dozen house-elves came rushing towards them.

Harry recognised Winky, who clasped her little hands together and said, "Master Harry and Headmaster Snape have a baby! Winky is so happy." She sobbed noisily. "Masters have been so unhappy and lonely. So many bad things have happened at Hogwarts."

"What? No, it's not _our_ baby!" Harry protested, blushing furiously.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake." Snape, meanwhile, paled.

"Winky is sorry." She blinked her huge eyes, looking indeed devastated. "Winky is thinking how good it would be to have a baby, when wizards are lonely."

"Will you just find us some milk suitable to feed him," Snape snarled, then added a very quiet and polite, "please."

She looked back and forth between them - Harry was cooing at the baby, which was gurgling and smiling at Snape. "Whatever Masters say."

* * *

Harry's blush had not yet fully receded by the time they were sitting at one of the long tables ten minutes later, side by side, with Snape holding the baby in his left arm and a baby bottle in his right hand. The bottle was attached to the baby's mouth, and he suckled eagerly while his small hands did their best to hold onto the hand feeding him.

Despite the fact that Snape had terrified the house-elves into going about their business and ignoring them, he had not fully succeeded, as proven by many curious large eyes watching them both.

Harry didn't blame them. His eyes, too, were on Snape, whose features had softened curiously, since he had started to feed the baby. Even the usual sternness in the dark eyes had melted into something dangerously close to fondness, and Harry had a sudden flash of a vision of Snape holding him as a baby. Had he ever done so? Even for a moment?

He was torn out of his musings by Snape's voice, which also sounded less abrupt, but possibly even smoother, than usual, and regretful too. "We'll have to contact Minerva. She'll know what to do with him."

"No!" Harry exclaimed quickly. When Snape frowned at him, he explained. "I know what it's like to be dumped on someone like this. Though I wish someone had dumped me on the doorstep of Hogwarts when I was a baby, rather than with the Dursleys." He tried not to feel resentment towards Dumbledore but, sometimes, it was hard.

Severus looked at him searchingly. He had, of course, long since been set straight on his ideas of Harry's enchanted and spoiled upbringing. But it must have been very bad indeed. "Even if I had been the one to find you?"

Harry stared at him, wondering whether Snape was using Legilimency in an especially subtle way. Well, he decided, whether or not he was, he might as well be honest, after the intensely personal look into the man's memories he had been granted. He broke eye contact to watch how contentedly the baby was feeding in Severus' arms.

"Especially then."

It was Severus' turn to stare. For a long time. Finally, he said, "You surprise me, Potter."

Harry smiled ruefully. "There's a first time for everything, I guess."

There was a long silence. When the bottle was nearly empty, and it became clear the infant was growing more tired than hungry, Snape said, very quietly, "You've surprised me many times over the years, and I regret I was never able to show when it was a pleasant surprise."

"Oh," Harry said. "Thank you, for telling me now. I do understand what it was like." He knew full well now that he wasn't the only one whose personal feelings had been suppressed in favour of making him a useful chess piece.

Snape searched his face, and nodded. "I'm sure." He took a deep breath. "I also never thanked you for... caring for me, after Nagini's bite. I have no excuse for that."

Harry met his eyes. "You're welcome." He privately wondered, and not for the first time, whether he hadn't started to care for Severus, in a different way, during that month. "I was glad to do it."

"Many would not have been."

Harry smiled a little. He was fairly certain Severus would not appreciate it if he brought up watching his memories, so he said, more vaguely, "They don't all owe you as much as I do."

"You don't owe me anything."

"Yes, I do." Harry said with determination in his eyes. "That's not the main reason why I did it though," he admitted.

It was clear from Severus' expression that he thought he knew the main reason, and Harry didn't dare to set him straight on that point. The man might drop the baby in shock.

No, Harry thought then, watching how carefully the bottle was taken from the drooping little mouth and put aside, and how gently the baby was lifted upright and held against Snape's shoulder to be burped. No, Snape would never let any harm come to this baby. No more than he would have let harm come to Harry.

"There's no need to make major decisions about the baby this late in the day. I believe sleep would be best for him now."

Harry nodded. He thanked the house-elves again for their help, and assured Winky that yes, they would summon her the moment they needed anything. Then he followed Snape from the kitchen and back towards the dungeons.

"I have a few pieces of furniture in my rooms I won't miss. I shall transfigure one of them into a cot," Snape told him.

"Oh, good." Harry, yawning as surreptitiously as he could, automatically followed him, and Snape never questioned it.

* * *

The cot was quite nice, Harry thought. Maybe Snape would make a decent Transfiguration teacher after all, as long as he didn't have to deal with problematic colours.

He was holding the baby while he watched Snape and the meticulous way he padded the cot out carefully with pillows and tightly tucked in sheets. When Snape placed the baby into the warm, comfy looking nest, Harry smiled and brushed a dark strand of hair back from the small face, and the big eyes drifted shut slowly.

Severus was watching him by then, though Harry was unaware of it. "You look tired yourself, Potter. Would you care for a glass of brandy?"

Harry blinked at him. He had no idea if he would or not, never having had brandy, but he didn't want to leave yet, even if he had no real reason to stay. Sharing brandy would do as a reason. "Yes, please."

Snape poured them each a glass, and they settled in on the sofa, well within sight of the cot.

The fireplace was roaring away, and it was comfortable and warm, and when Harry asked if Snape would mind helping him prepare his first few lessons some time soon, Snape agreed readily.

"Thank you, Severus." He raised the glass, sipped, and decided brandy was actually rather nice.

"It's no problem... Harry."

Harry didn't turn to look at him, but he smiled to himself. If the sound of his first name in Severus' deep voice was doing anything awful to his expression, it was just as well not to let the man see it. As it was, he wondered how long it would be before Severus realised he was still needlessly in his quarters.

He held onto the glass well after he'd finished the small amount of brandy, to avoid drawing attention to his presence, and he was quite unaware of the creeping heaviness and lassitude which came with being comfortable, warm and contented. He certainly wasn't aware of falling asleep sitting upright.

Severus was. He watched Harry's closed eyes for several minutes, and the way his throat arched when the back of his head fell against the top of the sofa. He carefully extracted the, thankfully empty, glass from limp fingers and set it down on the table.

Then he stood, mindful of not jostling the sofa. "Mobili--" Severus began. Harry grumbled a little in his sleep, and Severus sighed. "Oh, never mind."

He leaned down and picked him bodily up to carry him. When Harry snuggled against his chest and mumbled approval, a quite unwarranted smile tugged at Severus' lips.

In fact, he was so pleased, he was already in his own bedroom before remembering he should be carrying Harry to his own quarters in Gryffindor tower. Probably using a lightening charm.

Harry sighed in his sleep, and Severus only hoped he wouldn't choose this moment to wake up. He laid him down gently on his bed, then pulled off his hideous sneakers, before tucking him under the blanket. Finally, he sat on the edge of the bed to remove his glasses and set them down on the bedside table.

When he faced him again, about to rise and go in search of a spare pillow and blanket to take to the sofa, Harry was gazing up at him. Severus swallowed. The bright green eyes caught what little light was provided by a wall lantern, looking at him questioningly. He wondered when he had stopped seeing Lily in those eyes, and had started to see Harry himself - as he deserved.

"Am I in your bed?" Harry asked sleepily.

"Yes." Severus cleared his throat. "You fell asleep. I imagine a trip back to Gryffindor territory will be beyond you. I shall sleep on the sofa." When Harry just blinked at him, he said awkwardly, "Well, good night then."

"Good night." Harry took hold of his nearest arm and pulled himself up by it. "Severus." Then he tilted his head, leaned in, and kissed him.

For a moment, Severus thought he might already be asleep and dreaming, but his dreams were rarely this realistic and never tasted of brandy. Even so, he had a hard time believing that this young man, who had been an extremely awkward teenager, had grown into someone who simply went ahead and kissed someone, if he felt like it. Odder yet was the fact that he felt like kissing his formerly hated teacher turned headmaster.

Years of careful and skilled intimidation came to nought when, faced with foolish Gryffindor courage, Severus was helpless to do anything but return the kiss. And to deepen it when Harry's lips parted under him in a delighted moan which reached parts of himself he had become accustomed to ignoring. His tongue's venture into the wet warmth sealed his fate. Harry's mouth was addictive, his responsiveness intoxicating, and the way he suckled on his tongue as if it belonged to him broke down what little was left of Severus' resolve. He groaned and, with his left arm, pulled Harry hard against himself.

And then Harry wrapped his arms around his neck and sank back down into the soft bedding, taking him along.

* * *

Harry woke first in the morning, the faint green glow of the lake behind the window confusing him for a few moments, after years of waking up to bright sunlight through tower windows. The other thing which was new was that he was quite naked, but then he recognised the feel of the warm body next to him. He smiled when long arms closed more tightly around his middle.

"Morning," he murmured.

"Must it be?" Severus grumbled. When Harry chuckled, his eyes opened, and there was momentary shock, but then they softened. "Ah. I suppose it really wasn't a dream then."

"I hope not." Harry pressed close. "This is very nice, but I guess we should check on Snarry."

"Excuse me?"

Laughing, Harry said, "I've been refusing to call you Snape for months and, until last night, you've refused to call me Harry. If we call him Snarry, we can both get our pasts out of our system."

"Absolutely not." Severus looked horrified. "I will not burden the child with my past, nor with yours. Nor with a name like that!"

Harry grinned. "Okay, it was just a thought." He grew serious. "We'll need to call him something though."

"I suppose so." Severus watched him, almost warily. "You don't want to give him up to an orphanage, do you?"

"No, please." Harry inhaled a shaky breath. "No."

"I suppose..." Severus started, "with both of us working and living here, we should have plenty of spare time to devote to the infant."

Harry's heart was pounding. "We?"

"I have no intention of being a single parent," Severus groused halfheartedly. "And as you said last night, you owe me for years of looking after you. I've decided you were right, after all, and I believe the least you could do is to--" 

He didn't get to finish, because Harry had pounced on him and was kissing him senseless.

When he was allowed to breathe again, Severus said grumpily, "You might have let me propose properly."

"I wasn't sure it was going to get any better. It seemed to go downhill. So I accept." Harry grinned. "Consider me and the baby your Yule gifts this year."

"I'm doubly blessed." At any other time, and under any other circumstances, such a sentence would have sounded cynical, coming from Severus, but they were both well aware he sounded painfully fond.

"And you're our gift," Harry said triumphantly. "I don't know about the baby, but I know _I've_ never been given a better one."

"You're a hopeless romantic, Harry."

"Not hopeless anymore." Harry's voice was soft and sincere.

Severus closed his arms around Harry and pulled him down into another kiss, which went from tender to heated within moments. Severus decided that, perhaps, there was something to be said for rushing into things, at least if one did it with a Gryffindor at one's side.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment here or at [LiveJournal](https://snape-potter.livejournal.com/3856363.html), [Insanejournal](http://asylums.insanejournal.com/snape_potter/1788498.html), or [Dreamwidth](https://snape-potter.dreamwidth.org/1108718.html).


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